Charles George's winning entry.
Second Quarter 2004 Meeting -- Lair No. 1
On June 12, 2004, Lair No. 1 met at Max's Allegheny Tavern for its annual Mass Challenge. This year's challenge was to create a work of art depicting what best characterizes a Rascal.
Woody Cunningham presented his Rascal Vision in the form of a detailed and quite clever Sculpture. Its Rascalian elements included a Matchless Lyre; an Unfinished Picnic Table; the traditional, nearly mandatory penguins; Gems, to indicate the good stories gleaned from our meetings; the Sequins of Events; and a Ball, because “Every Rascal should have at least one” (a sentiment that is also a By-Law requirement) jar; a Moon & Stars reflecting our nocturnal (or benighted) nature; the Blue Eye of Truth, and a Pin to pin it down (and a paper clip to demonstrate how we twist it); and a cartoon mortarboard to reflect our cartoon scholarship.
Charlei George revealed his labor-intensive Stained Glass representation of the Rascal Flag (his wife having taught him that mysterious art, redolent of smoke and fire), noting that it was Already Broken. The Lair #1 piece fractured into 3 lairs, and note was made of a uterine shape, for we gave birth to the other Lairs. There is some thought to requiring that this be a window in the sanctuary of every church Dan Morrison is assigned to.
In addition to the presentation itself, Charlei donated his “Study #1” stained glass piece as The New Booger, or Booger Reborn.
Lee Wolfson narrated the story of Pope Joan (from The Bad Popes) while displaying his thematic Sculpture of a papal throne, including a central hole in the seat so that the Pope might bear children unobserved, or have his/her gender inspected when the College of Cardinals is in that kind of mood. This sculpture, properly, consisted primarily of a cigar box, mounted on empty cigar tubes. Importantly, and in theme with the evening, the piece had a prominent picture of Chief Inspector Morrison.
Vic Norman presented another Sculpture, this one the epitome of the Dan Morrison Theme: a papier-mâché life-size bobble-head bust of the Founding Fulminator himself. The materials were the June 4, 2004 newspaper, acrylic paint, pipe cleaner, wire, and, most importantly, papier-mâché. Vic read a bio of the Man, indicating the ways in which he is clearly the Rascal Ideal. Vic also admitted the urge to worship it that came over him, and which we all felt: and allowed as how he may have created an Idol.
In post-contest discussion, Vic revealed that his original plan was to use jello for the whole thing, because – fitting the Rascals to a T – it has No Structural Integrity. Very Rascal.
Ron DiOrio provided an Interlude, stating, “I have not done anything physical” (which was immediately commended as Ideally Rascal) though he has a current plan to rebuild Burgettstown which is loosely based on Albert Speer’s Berlin (but with a pyramid). He proposed a picture of Dan Morrison, but in the modern art fashion – meaning it would be decorated in the artist’s (in this case, Ron’s) excrement.
The Interlude ended, William Cipkala enshrined our cause in his Sculptural Tableau: Rascaldom Triumphant, or Einstein Slays the Teletubby. Reminiscent of a horseless St. George on the point of impaling a Dragon, the armatured clay Einstein (with exquisitely detailed and detachable head) thrust a lance into a supine representative of all that is Vulgar, Stupid, Witless, Boring, Commercial, Uninformed, Timid, Devoid of Character, and Lacking in Interest in today’s society.
It’s only drawbacks as a work of Art were the absence of Dan Morrison’s features on either the Teletubby or the Einstein, and the perhaps Too-Energetic-To-Be-Ideally-Rascaliate pose of the Avenging Einstein.
Breaking with long-standing Rascal tradition, Charlei George did not come in second. His Stained Glass Flag won the Challenge with 6 votes, and William Cipkala earned the Bitter Booger of Glass with 3 votes. Vic Norman’s idol seduced the remaining voters.
Among those present at this meeting were: