Second Quarter 2002 Meeting -- Lair No. 1
On June 8, 2002, Lair No. 1 met in the Ratskeller of Max's Allegheny Tavern for the 2002 Mass Challenge, which was to come back with an interesting story of your house from 100 years ago.
There were seven contenders for the Mass Challenge this year, a number selected for its symbolic resonance.
1. Ron DiOrio, whose house didn’t exist even 50 years ago, but whose property played a significant contribution (for want of a horseshoe) in causing the First World War, and which also gave rise to the lyrics known to a deluded public as "Old MacDonald Had A Farm".
2. Lee Wolfson, who also, through carelessness, doesn’t have a 100 year old house. He invited Rick Sebak to explain the history of his Chatham Village home, and rested on that man’s laurels.
3. Tim Esaias, whose house also failed to be around a century ago, but who explained how local residents dug wells for wood, elected the first slate candidate, and were disappointed by the failure to complete a monumental Sesquicentennial Arch commemorating Braddock’s Victory.
4. Woody Cunningham’s presentation "would have been longer if it had been further along in the order", but he bravely extemporized on the historical figures who lived near, but not actually in, his house. His talk centered on a naked man running amok, but he was most impressed by his grandfather having managed to beat a bent Model T axle straight without a blacksmith shop.
5. Jehosaphat McGeoy gave us "a cerebral presentation" (an admitted risk, given the audience) regarding his house which also fails the century test. It’s in the style he describes as Post WWII Cheap, and it’s most interesting feature (and that of the whole neighborhood) is that there’s nothing interesting about it. It’s a dump.
6. William Kortas, whose house was actually present 100 years ago, brought forth among us a relic dear to our hearts: a blown glass cigar lighter globe for a house gas line. It’s obvious resemblance to a human mammary gland self-milking device was noted with general approval.
7. Charlei George, who admitted that there had been nothing in the old days between Sewickley and Pittsburgh except a brothel, which is not actually his house, bravely struggled to redeem the situation. He showed a photograph that included the absence of a brothel. He showed us a portrait of the woman whose sour features and Presbyterian presence probably soured the brothel’s trade all by itself, though she merely lived near it. He brought plaster casts of his seasonal newel post, and attempted to draw from it some potent sexual imagery. He engaged in overt bribery, including immature buckeyes.
The voting went as follows:
DiOrio 5
George 4
Kortas 1
abstain 1
Producing exactly the same result as last year: DiOrio is now the second Rascal to win two Jon Landgraf medals, and Charles George is, once again, the holder of the Bitter Cup and the Elvis Booger.
Among those present at this meeting were:
