Fourth Quarter 2002 Meeting -- Lair No. 1
Lair No. 1 of the RR&R met in the Rathskeller of Max's Allegheny Tavern on December 7, 2002 for a presentation by William Kortas on the Nature of Time. He succeeded in tying up the entire group, a Rascal First. He did, subsequently, cut us loose. We had been enjoined to bring items for inclusion in a Time (Thyme?) Capsule, and Let It Be Recorded For All Time that the following marvelous items were presented:
1. Vic Norman donated a nearly empty bottle of Beano, to which he attributes the survival of his marriage. He suggested that Other Rascals might Benefit from the use of this enzymous product.
2. Dan Parker donated a yellow Feel Good 8-Ball, that carries a smiley face on the outside and upbeat messages on the inside.
3. William Kortas included his résumé. Also he donated a small bag of the sands of Time, which he secretly acquired. I’m hoping it wasn’t from Times Beach.
4. John Schmid, appropriately for the group, included a chocolate cigar.
5. Charlei George gave up the gutted remain of one of his Billy Bob fish, as a sign of the bitterness he will still be feeling (whenever this time capsule is finally opened) over two successive second place finishes in the Mass Challenge.
6. Bob Edmunds donated an elegant marble Life Changer clock, that has no hands. This fit the theme, and our rather time-unwary membership, to a T.
7. Ron DiOrio made the significant donation of an unopened pack of Gold Circle Coin premium latex condoms, in case the Future is lacking in opportunities for Courageous Cuisine. This gift really defined the Man.
8. J.G. McGeoy felt that the future is likely to have such tiny, solid-state technology that they would need to be reminded of the old days when things were actually put together from parts: so he donated a small screwdriver.
9. Tim Esaias, who never gets anything done on time, gave a St. Expedite medal from New Orleans.
10. Woody Cunningham donated a new Mississippi state quarter, memorializing the fact that with years and years to prepare, Mississippi forgot to choose a design, and told the Mint to “throw some magnolias on it”. He also included a copy of Lyndon LaRouche’s Executive Intelligence Review, because it will make many things unclear to the Rascals of the Future. Indeed and also, this was added to by the frightening photo that Charlei George used as part of his Mass Challenge presentation, of an alleged historical neighbor. We are not sure the Future is prepared for this vision of, of, well, let us move on.
11. Lee Wolfson included the Italian chapeau he wore in his glorious Mass Challenge victory.
12. Dan Morrison, who some refer to as an Ur-Rascal, and others as a Gilgamess, sent a collage which is a certified second-class relic of himself. It not only defined the man, but illustrated him and provided a fingerprint.
Finally, there was a recent copy of the News of the Weird which will put our times in perspective for Future Rascals. The Secretary, alas, is uncertain as to whom the donor of this key contribution might be.
Corrections to this list are welcome, and there is still time to add to the capsule before it is sealed for all time. Indeed, much of the rest of the presentation was the discussion of what would be the proper form of the capsule and where might it be placed. We were informed that several thousands of time capsules are now officially “missing” because their exact location is lost. Many suggestions were made, but no final decision was taken, leaving the Secretary with the task of storing this material. The current leading proposal is that it be inserted in an Ark of the Rascals until such time as a decision is taken; and that the Ark be the unofficial base for the Rascal of the Year trophy. (Timons Esaias, Secretary)
Among those present at this meeting were:
